The Baby Show: Nap Time is Sacrosanct

Players: Brad, Gus, Ruby, Ruthie

Location: The Car, on the way home from church.

Brad: "Ruby, what did you do at Church today?"

Ruby stares at Brad with her thumb in her mouth.

Brad: "Ruby, HANDS."

After Ruby takes her thumb out of her mouth, Brad repeats the question.

Ruby: "Played, and the new teachers cause Mr. Parker and Mrs. Parker weren't there, but Mr. Parker was there and they watched over me..." then in sing-songy "watched over me....watched over me...Mr. Parker"

Ruthie: "Ruby, did you learn anything about Jesus?"

Ruby: "The guy died and jesus the bones with praying over the bones." sing songy "Over the bones, over the bones, over the bones." in normal voice "Jesus prayed over the bones, indeedie." Ruby laughs. "INDEEDIE. Grandpa says that all the time. He comes over and says INDEEDIE. Is grandpa coming over?"

Brad: "Not today, sweetie."

Brad looks over to Gus, who has heavy eyes.

Brad: "Hey GUS!"

Gus starts awake {FOOTBALL PRACTICE!. Wait, where am I?}

Brad: "Stay awake, buddy, we'll be home soon."

Gus is already almost asleep again.

Ruthie: "Gus, when we get home, you can have the foods!"

Gus wakes a bit, groggily: {Wha? Food?}

Brad: "Yeah, what would you like?"

Ruby: "Macaroni!"

Ruthie: "You always want macaroni. We aren't having macaroni."

Gus is almost asleep again

Brad: "GUS, what about a banana?"

Gus groggily: "Na-na."

Ruthie: "And some milk"

Gus, more groggily: "Mek?"

Brad: "how about some boiling hot magma?"

Gus wakes a little at a word he doesn't know: "Magmuh?"

Brad: "Yeah, delicious magma."

Gus loses interest and starts to fall asleep.

Brad pulls some peanut butter crackers out of the diaper bag: "Gus, crackers!"

Gus, wakes a little: "Kahkuh?"

Ruby: "I want some crackers."

Ruthie: "Honey, they are to keep Gus awake."

Ruby: "But I want a cracker cause he gets a cracker and then I want a cracker too!"

Brad hands both Ruby and Gus a cracker. Ruby devours it readily. Gus takes a single bite, but the act of chewing proves too exhausting and he lapses back into sleep.

Brad decides to pull out the big guns. He reaches back and begins to tickle Gus's leg.

A little known fact about babies and tickling - when they are fully awake and at least in a average mood, tickling is fun. If they aren't in the right mood, tickling is like baby-torture.

Gus wakes up ANGRY: {WHAT ARE YOU DOING! THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE TO ME! JUST LET ME SLEEP! WHAT SORT OF INHUMAN MONSTERS ARE YOU.}

Brad and Gus enter into a cycle - Brad tickles Gus's leg, Gus wails and calls down curses and brimstone on the heads of everyone in the car, Brad stops, Gus slowly falls asleep again, Brad tickles Gus's leg, etc.

Finally, the car pulls into the driveway.

As soon as the car comes to a complete stop, Gus is fully awake: {Oh, we're home? Excellent, I believe I was promised some sort of foodstuffs.}