Monday, June 3, 2013

The Baby Show: A Classic Blunder

Players: Brad, Gus
Location: Gus’s Room, The Kitchen

Since Gus has graduated to his "big boy" bed, he refuses to stay in bed. He has been milling around in his room, in the dark, for 90 minutes.
Suddenly, there is a pounding from inside his room.
Gus: "DINK!" 
{I require a beverage, all this not-sleeping has left me parched!}
Brad ignores the request
Gus: "DINK, DINK" 
{I will pound on this door and scream until I wake up the Sister-Girl unless you slake my titanic thirst!!}
Brad goes to Gus's door: "Just go to sleep. You won't even notice you're thirsty if you are ASLEEP."
Gus is quiet for a moment, then: 
{You do not understand, Father Parent: should you deliver to me a refreshing beverage of some variety, my pleasantly full belly will easily render me comatose.}
Brad opens the door. Gus is standing there, twisting his index finger in his mouth- the Gus-hand speak version of Drink.
Brad: "So I get you a drink, and you'll go to sleep."
Gus looks on plaintively 
{I suggest Milk; it has great powers of soothing and restfulness.}
Brad picks up Gus and takes him to the refrigerator. When proffered, Gus greedily grabs for a Sippy of milk and drinks from it furiously.
{YOU FOOL! You've given me COLD milk. Only WARM milk has the powers to soothe the savage toddler. You have only reinvigorated me to continue in my state of UN-sleep!}
Brad deposits Gus back in his bed.
In his room, Gus immediately gets out of bed and bellows
: {OH THE FOLLY YOU HAVE WROUGHT! Now I am inconsolable and mighty. I shall rage until the dying of the earth. Nothing will stand before my awesome grumpiness and whine-etude. I shall...Shall...}
There is a thump from the room as Gus falls to the floor, asleep
(Original Post: 5/31/2013)

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