Monday, June 3, 2013

The Baby Show: Fancy Shoes

Players: Brad, Gus, Ruby 
Location: In the living room.

Brad: "Ruby, please go get some shoes and socks."
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad: "So we can go to the park."
Ruby: "We can go to the park because it's warm outside."
Brad: "No, it is actually stupidly cold, but we will also get you a jacket. Just go get your shoes."
Ruby: "I'll get my shoes, and socks - pink socks, and my sparkly shoes - and pink socks, and then my flower jacket, and I will put it on by myself because I am a big girl and you won't help me and then we will go to the park and I will see my park friends!" Runs off to get shoes, presumably.
Gus toddles over: "PAWK!?" and holds his baby fists in the air 
{SIR, I've heard rumor that we are planning an excursion to the park. I'm ready to go! Lift me and we shall be off!}
Brad: "We need to get your shoes and socks too."
Gus: "SHoo" Runs down the hall, but right past his room and into Ruby's room.
Brad goes to Gus's room and gets shoes and socks, then returns to the living room.
From Ruby's room: "NO GUS!"
Gus: "SHOO!" and a troubled grunt 
Brad: “Ruby, leave Gus alone and bring me your shoes."
Ruby starts to cry, she runs into the living room, holding her shoes and socks in her hands, and crying the sort of tears that all toddlers on the face of the earth can turn on and off at will.
Ruby - still crying: "Dabbie, Gussie motch my dues und i blar blake blem tack but he shelled und you snurled brut coos me blot to jim dem."
Brad: "No idea."
Ruby - crying: "Gussie" breath "nake my pliny blues" breath "and by floundet net good jack" breath "plust you weld and I trust bread."
Brad: "Ruby, I can't understand you when you cry and talk. Take deep breaths and calm down and try again.”
Ruby takes a breath
calms down
Ruby takes a breath
calms down more
Ruby takes a breath and seems to now be fine.
Brad: "So what happened"
Ruby - instantly crying again "GUSSIE blast my dinny moos!"
At this point there is a clomping coming down the hall and pink flashing lights on the floor as Gus comes down the hall wearing Ruby's Pink Minnie Mouse heeled shoes with the pink plastic bow that lights up when you walk.
Gus: "SHOO" 
{I am ready for the park. LET US AWAY!}
Brad: "Gus, you can't go to the park in those shoes!"
Gus looks at Brad disdainfully: 
{Perhaps you can't pull of this look, but I'm versatile.}

(Original Post: 5/24/2013)

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