Monday, June 3, 2013

The Baby Show: Feed Me!

Players: Brad, Hope, Gus, Ruby
Location: The Kitchen

Lunchtime: Hope is in her high chair, blueberry-flavored rice puffs are on her tray to distract her. Gus and Ruby are wandering between the kitchen and the living room, sensing that food is coming but not yet committed enough to give up on trying to cover all the carpet in the living room with toys. “Larson” songs are playing in the background

Brad puts a bib on Hope
Hope: {Hold up, I know what this means!} 
Hopes little legs start pounding the life out of the bottom of the highchair. She begins flapping her unbending baby arms in a motion that can only be described as “Frankenstein’s Monster trys to fly”
Brad goes to get Hope’s food – mixed Vegetables – and hides it behind his back until the last minute.
Hope: {I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE! GIMME GIMME GIMME.} 
Brad is not fast enough in taking the plastic top off it.
Hope: {DUDE, Why isn't that spoon SLOPPY with goodness and in my MOUTH HOLE?}
Hope’s screeches bring Gus into the room.
Gus: 
{What seems to be the trouble?}
Brad, stirring the Veggie pudding a little: “Just getting ready to feed Hope.”
Hope: 
{You are not SERIOUSLY stirring that instead of shoveling into my face!?}
Brad begins feeding Hope, who is still slamming her legs against the seat. 
Hope: 
{FASTER! DOUBLE FIST IT, IF YOU GOTTA.}
After a few minutes, Hope calms down and eats at a more normal pace. Gus climbs into a chair with a book. Ruby comes in a moment later and sits in her chair. Hope is completely distracted and stops eating.
Brad holds the food-laden spoon in front of Hope’s eyeball: “Hey, there is still food here.”
Hope: 
{Oh, yeah. Here yah go.} 
Hope opens her mouth without stopping staring at Gus. 
With food in her mouth, Hope to Gus: 
{Whatta doobin?}
Gus tears a page out of the book: {I’m reading this delightful book, but then destroying it so that I am ever the only recipient of its knowledge}
Brad cajoles Hope into taking another bite.
Ruby: “Daddy, can I have some milk?”
Brad: “Sure, sweetie.” 
Brad gets up and moves to the Fridge. It takes Hope a moment to realize that he’s not in front of her anymore.
Hope: 
{HEY}. Brad looks over and she continues: {Did I say you could go?}
Brad: “You are all distracted, you can wait 1 minute.”
Hope: 
{Listen, son. This is MY time. You sit your butt back down and get that goop in my belly.}
(Original Post: 5/30/2013)


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