Yesterday was the first day that I missed writing here.
I apologize for that.
Now you are probably thinking "well, that's no big deal, it happens." I agree, it does. Yesterday was busy and through all the craziness it got overlooked. We all have days like that and I appreciate your understanding.
However, one of the major reasons for this blog was to get me writing. Writing is one of those things that you need to do every day in order to really get in the habit of it and start progressing in quality. I have put off this 'dream' of writing for so many years, that I am hoping that working on something as simple as this blog will get me going on my other writing. So when I miss a day, even for good reason, I get a little nervous.
The reason I get nervous is ultimately because, in a weird way, Writing as a Profession is my last dream. Growing up, I had all these dreams of what I would do with myself as an adult, and I feel like one-by-one they have all been dashed. Writing is the only one that is left that hasn't really been eviscerated yet and I am afraid to lose it. That fear (along with some other things) has kept me from really pursuing it for all these years.
I suppose I think that if all my childhood dreams die, if none of my original wishes for my life come true, then I have failed as a person. I will feel like some last piece of hope or innocence or something will finally be gone, and I am afraid of the person I will be if that happens. I've seen how my other dreams dissolving in front of me has affect my personality, and there are a lot of things I don't like about the process.
So I write here hoping it will lead to writing elsewhere.
And today I will write 2 blogs, to catch up.
And the next blog will be about how on the Death of Dreams and how it is actually good.