I've pursued lots of things in the attempt to become Awesome.
There seems to be a thought in our culture that any, and perhaps even ALL, of us have the ability to become something phenomenal. Television, Movies, Radio, Books, and even the people around you tell you things that make you feel like you have it in you to be Superman.
The problem is that this is a lie.
No one can be Superman. Not even Superman is really Superman. Whatever you accomplish in life, you will always be able to see some way that you could have theoretically have been better, greater than you are now. Everyone falls short of their supposed potential.
But falling short isn't the issue (it is The Issue, but not the focus of our current discussion.) The issue is that the World tells you that you can be a Superstar, so when you feel like you aren't the Superstar you were meant to be or thought you could be, you are devastated or feel like a failure. You wonder where you've gone wrong.
I feel like this a lot. I had a lot of dreams and goals I wanted to accomplish. In a very strict sense, I have accomplished very few of them. Many--possibly most--have died a horribly painful death. When I see the death of these things, I feel like a failure. What have I done with my life? What do I have to show for it? Most things I have tried have not turned out. I'm not famous, I'm not rich, I am not really successful in any way that the World promised me I could be.
But the issue is not that I'm a failure (again, it is The Issue, but that's for later), it's that I paid far too much attention to the lies of the world. The Cake is a LIE! There is no magic place in life where you get everything you want and are totally happy. I would even go as far as to say that anyone who says they are perfectly happy with life is either a stinking liar or horribly deluded.
Here is a part of truth: You will never be completely happy in this life; you will never have everything you want; you will never feel totally fulfilled.
But you can be content. You just need to stop living trying to be the person the World told you that you could be, or even the person you want to be. Start figuring out who you should be.
You should be someone who loves God with everything you are.
You should be someone who loves others at least as much as you love yourself (hopefully more)
You should be someone who holds on to this world very loosely.
You should be someone who can accept that you aren't perfect, and while that isn't OK, it is reality. It is what everyone of us lives with every day.
The longer you spend denying it, the worse it gets.
So cut it out.