Sensitive Geek MAN: Our house is a very very very fine mess

One of the glories of home ownership is that you never really have nothing to do ever again. Not to say that there aren't times when I do nothing, just that it now is a choice rather than an actual lack.

Someone asked me the other day is I have a honeydo list. Not really, I said. More like a battle plan. Keeping our house in some sort of repair is a fairly consistent job. On top of that, the slow transformation of our house from a place we bought from others to the place we live adds even more work to the pile.

For example, we had a shed in back. It was not a well built shed, but it served its purpose. Unfortunately, last year, all manner of critter decided to start living underneath it. I tried everything I could think of to encourage them to stop, but they always came back. I'd get rid of one, a new one would come; I'd block off one hole, 2 more would pop up. It was a battle, one I would have been content to keep fighting indefinitely if most of the residents hadn't been skunks.
You don't mess with skunks.
So, I finally just tore the shed down. I won the war against the critters, but now I don't have a shed. All that stuff needs to go somewhere. So now it's in the garage, which means that the newest battle is to get the garage organized so we can actually walk around in there.
Those are the battles.

The transformations to where we live are choices we make to change things about the house that aren't really broken, but that we don't prefer. For example, my wife doesn't like our front and back doors. I want a garden. I also want a better, bigger patio. Those things are very slow, and about the time we finish them, it will be time to move, and then it will start all over.

Luckily, I usually like this sort of work, even the battles (mostly). I just wish that I got to do more of it by choice rather than necessity. They say that necessity is the mother of invention. What they mean is that the things that need to be done that we don't want to do make us desperate to find better, faster, more efficient ways to do them so that then we can spend the time we saved doing the things we actually want to do.

Which is why we build robots.

The Renewing Mind/Sensitive Geek MAN: The way of the gun

I have a friend who said that he wanted the job of enforcing morality with a gun.

I like the concept, but it is obviously extreme.

Recently, I think I would like to be paid to give people perspective.

I'll use my own life as the initial example.
There are things about my life with which I am unhappy. I am sure everyone suffers from this. My job isn't what I would like it to be, I want to see my kids more, yadda yadda.
Far too often, I get focused on these things and can't let them go. I get all upset and up in arms.

Then I am given these moments of perspective:
I live in the United States, still one of the most prosperous, safe, free countries in the world.
I make a decent living, and my wife and I can pretty easily support our family.
Most everyone I know is pretty healthy.
I have good friends.
I go to a Godly, Bible-believing, fairly selfless church. I am not persecuted for my faith.

And then I realize I am a big whiner-baby.

I think that this sort of perspective is something that everyone needs. Maybe not with the same issues, but I think this is something that most people--especially in the U.S.--suffer from.

Now, this obviously wouldn't solve every problem, because there are people in the world who just don't care how good they have it. They want more. That's how sin works. It is never full; it is a giant gaping hole of need and it is always, always hungry.  You can not satisfy it, only kill it.

So maybe my friends gun morality has some merit. But, left to my own devices, I'd be just as likely to get shot as anyone else.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Dumb and Dumber

I am occasionally concerned that we are getting stupider as a species.

I don't mean that we are getting less capable of learning or knowing things, or even that we are getting less knowledgeable as a species. I think most people would agree that we have an immense amount of information available to us, more than any single person could ever know. Also, there are obviously a group of people that is very knowledgeable and good at applying that knowledge, since we have been having various technological advancements over the last 100 years.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the continuing educational process and the application of knowledge in a beneficial manner.

We may be gaining knowledge, but we are losing intelligence, we are losing wisdom, we are losing smarts.

Not only that, we are glorying in our stupidity. Just turn on TV. Watch any of a number of reality shows. Jersey Shore seems an excellent example. The popularity of that show is frightening. Shows like Big Brother teach us that it's OK to treat other people like crap to get what we want. That shows a lack of wisdom in how to deal with others both shrewdly and kindly.

I am not slamming TV, I think there are many shows that have a great ability to teach intelligence and wisdom. However, the popularity of those shows is very telling.

Mostly, I think our laziness and selfishness gets in the way. It's less taxing to be stupid and rude, and unfortunately there aren't always immediate consequences. And while there may be long term consequences, we may not put all the pieces together to realize what caused those consequences, because we are dumb and in denial.

Everyone does this. It is a failing of the super-educated as well as everyone else. Our current world-wide financial issues are a good example. Significant lack of wisdom there, as well as a huge dose of selfishness.

Historically, whenever this sort of thing started happening in a culture, that culture fell shortly thereafter. There have been multiple things written on it, and the Roman Empire is an excellent example. They got greedy, lazy, and stupid, then their whole society caved in.

So, don't revel in dumbness. Fight it, help others fight it. It can come to no lasting good.

Although it may get you a TV show.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Wednesday's Child

Wednesday (that's what day it is today for those of you reading this in the future!!) is the day that most makes me think about the history of days. It's because, almost invariably, sometime today someone will wish me a Happy Hump Day.

I know how wednesday got the title of Hump day, being in the middle of the work week and all, but it often makes me think of how Wednesday came to be called Wednesday.

Wednesday is Woden's day.  Woden is the old-school name for Odin, the all-father. To put it in modern context, he was played by Sir Anthony Hopkins in the recent movie, Thor.

It seems that most of the English names for days come from Old English words for Norse deities. Tuesday is Tiws, or Tyr's day, the Norse god of War. Thursday is Thor's day, the Norse god of Thunder (and Marvel superhero), Friday is Frigg's day, the Norse goddess of married women, Odin's wife, and Thor's mom.

Saturday is the only really concrete departure. Saturn was the Roman god of Agriculture. His major holiday, Saturnalia, is thought to have been the reason that Christmas is in December.

Sunday and Monday are also technical departures, but it is thought that the Norse may have named solidified they modern English names as well. They are simply days dedicated to the Sun and Moon respectively.

Also, I commonly think of this Nursery Rhyme:

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

The only major issue I see is that Sunday is not the Sabbath. The Sabbath starts Friday night at sundown and goes through Saturday night at sundown.

Otherwise, happy Odin's day everyone.

The Renewing Mind: Not the End

Today I truly meant to write something lighter and playful, perhaps, if I was lucky, even funny.

But then I learned that the son of a friend of mine died.

I don’t pretend to really know what that must be like. I have only had grandparents die. While that was painful, the relationship from my end is different. I try to imagine what it would be like to have my daughter die; just the thought is enough to make me almost burst into tears. When I think of it, it is like the muscles in my chest try to crush my heart. That is just thinking about it, so I can barely fathom what experiencing it would be like.

To any of you suffering from this tragedy, or from any other loss of life, you have my deepest sympathies.

Death is a tragedy. I have never really understood those who claim that death is a part of life, that it is natural. We were meant for eternity, to live forever in God’s presence. The death of a being made in God’s likeness is anything but natural. Our spirits should have been so full of the light and life of God that we never age, never die. Death is a consequence of the nature we all now inherit. As my pastor said recently, we are made in the likeness of God, but unfortunately born with the likeness of Adam. So as death should have never come to us, it is only right that we should mourn when anyone dies.

Becoming a believer means that the likeness of God in you has been redeemed. While we will all still die a physical death, our souls will live on with God. This makes the grieving process a strange affair. You know that death is not the end for any believer. You know that you will see them again and in the best of circumstances. A Christian doesn’t mourn the loss of a fellow believer, because no fellow believers are ever lost. We mourn because we can’t immediately follow and must live more years without them. We don’t mourn so much for them leaving as for us staying.

The True Tragedy comes when those we love die without Christ. They will be separate from God, and therefore us as well. That is something over which to truly grieve. That is something that we should fight against with everything we are. That convicts me—that I am such a coward that I don’t share Jesus with everyone I meet.

To my friend whose son has gone ahead, I am so sorry. I hope that our Lord Jesus would make His face to shine upon you and your family and give you all peace.

The Renewing Mind/Sensitive Geek Man: The Death of Dreams

When I was a kid, I dreamed about being a chemist. Anyone who knows me and my relationship with math will understand why that is absurd.

But as we grow up, so do our dreams. At some point our seemingly rational mind develops its hopes, its dreams for what we will be.

My senior year of high school, I had to make a choice of what to major in. I narrowed it down to 3 choices: Theater, Music, and Writing. In the wisdom of an 18 year old, semi-privileged boy-man, I chose music, specifically Vocal Performance. I figured that I could learn to act on my own or through the music theater training I expected to receive, and I didn’t think I needed to go to school for writing.

I am not going to go into grand detail about my school experience; I just bring that up to illustrate my fledgling dreams. I wanted to perform, be creative, and create people and worlds. These were the direction I thought would let me do that.

One by one they have almost all crumbled. I could go into the sob stories about why they have, but as I look back on them I realize a few things.

There came a point with each where the effort and sacrifice required was no longer worth the supposed pay off and I stopped. I didn’t have to—as much as I thought I had no choice at the time. I abandoned them, although not from lack of desire for the art itself as much as the ‘extras’ that surrounded the art. My fear is that I stopped due to laziness or silliness.

The biggest problem was, simply, that my dreams were about me. They were selfish, self-absorbed, self-glorifying, and somewhat narcissistic endeavors. Perhaps they didn’t have to be, but they were because I made one very critical error.

I didn’t put Christ at the center of my future.

I’ve been a Christian since I was 12, and I grew up in a Christian family before that. Christ has always been part of my life in some way. When I accepted Him as my Savior and Lord, I was bequeathed the firmest foundation possible upon which to build this life. I made the mistake of not including Him enough in the actually building process.

So here I had a beautiful, strong Rock upon which to build the house of my life, and I built a gaudy mansion of garbage.

So, slowly but surely, that mansion had been torn down, slowly and painfully. I have tried to make my hopes more Christ-centered, but it seems that I still have some sort of learning to do, as they have all crumbled as well.

As much as I was (and still sometimes am) angry and sad about losing them, as much as I miss them, I now can see that their death was possibly the best thing that could have happened. They were dreams made of diaphanous debris. They would have accomplished nothing of real worth in and of themselves. They need to die in order that God could replace them with Himself.

As a believer, Jesus should replace all my dreams. He should be the reason for everything I do. He should be where I put my effort, where my mind wanders when I am thinking about grand and glorious things. When I think of my life, I should be thinking how it serves Him. When I think of myself, I should only see Christ reflected back. These other things are truly dreams: fleeting wisps, folly, a chasing after the wind.

One of those follies remains. My desire to write has not yet been crushed. I am determined to sanctify it. I see now that it must serve if it is to be useful. Any tool that does not serve is thrown into the fire. Writing is not a dream, imagination and wordsmithing are not the dream, they are the tools I use to pursue the Christ.

Really, all of life is a dream, a nightmare from which we will all one day wake. Only those in Christ will wake to Life.

So, I encourage you: Look at your life and find the dreams and frivolous hopes that must die. Perhaps the Lord will have compassion and He will sanctify those follies into tools for you, but do not hang on to them in that hope. It only makes it harder. See those things and do whatever you need to get them out of the way.

And don’t be fooled, this is a life-long struggle. I have to put down my broken dreams every day. It is never completely painless. But one day I will wake and look into the eyes of my Lord. On that day every true desire of my heart will find fulfillment. On that day all dreams will pale in comparison to the reality that is the presence of God. On that day, I will laugh at how frivolous all my earthly hopes were and then I will forget them.

On that day, there will be too much celebration and joy to even consider past sufferings.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Death of Dreams Intro (I missed a day)

Yesterday was the first day that I missed writing here.

I apologize for that.

Now you are probably thinking "well, that's no big deal, it happens." I agree, it does. Yesterday was busy and through all the craziness it got overlooked. We all have days like that and I appreciate your understanding.

However, one of the major reasons for this blog was to get me writing. Writing is one of those things that you need to do every day in order to really get in the habit of it and start progressing in quality. I have put off this 'dream' of writing for so many years, that I am hoping that working on something as simple as this blog will get me going on my other writing. So when I miss a day, even for good reason, I get a little nervous.

The reason I get nervous is ultimately because, in a weird way, Writing as a Profession is my last dream. Growing up, I had all these dreams of what I would do with myself as an adult, and I feel like one-by-one they have all been dashed. Writing is the only one that is left that hasn't really been eviscerated yet and I am afraid to lose it. That fear (along with some other things) has kept me from really pursuing it for all these years.

I suppose I think that if all my childhood dreams die, if none of my original wishes for my life come true, then I have failed as a person. I will feel like some last piece of hope or innocence or something will finally be gone, and I am afraid of the person I will be if that happens. I've seen how my other dreams dissolving in front of me has affect my personality, and there are a lot of things I don't like about the process.

So I write here hoping it will lead to writing elsewhere.
And today I will write 2 blogs, to catch up.
And the next blog will be about how on the Death of Dreams and how it is actually good.