The Renewing Mind: the Lord loves wondrous variety

sometimes I feel I have to make myself more palatable for public consumption.

I tend to like things that the average person does not like, and in fact looks down on in some way. I also tend to believe things that the average person does not believe, and may in fact be offended by. Both of these things cause me to, at times, avoid conversations that may bring up the topics that illicit judgement or offense.

It bothers me that I do this, both because I feel that I should be ok with who I am and what I like and also because I feel that other people should wait on judgement until all the facts are in. The games I play, the movies I watch, the books I read should not really inform a negative opinion, as they have little impact in how I relate to others.

On the other hand, i know that there has been may a time that I have missed an opportunity to share the Gospel with someone because I am too afraid of what they may think. Sometimes it is because I work with the person and I don't want to make our working relationship awkward, sometimes it is just that I am a coward who wants people to like me. Either way it is unacceptable.

The whole thing is unacceptable. If the Lord is honored, if sin is absent, then no apologies should be made.

The Renewing Mind: A lapse in Vigilance

Yesterday I didn't post. It is the first real one that I have missed since I started this, 56 days ago.

As far as runs go, I think that is pretty good, but I still am a little peeved about the lapse. I think mostly it's because I don't really have a great reason for missing it. I just got caught up in other things and forgot. No good reason, just a little bit of absent-mindedness.

I think that is how sin usually makes it into our lives as well. Sure, there might be the one or two big things that you struggle with, the epic, titanic battles; but mostly, I feel like sin sneaks in when we are distracted by other things. It sneaks into the tone of voice I use when I am talking to someone, or into how I drive when I am rocking out, or how my pride peaks out when I am unconsciously judging people on TV. It is an insidious, evil ninja: if there is anyway to get in an mess up your life, it will find it.

Which is why we need to be ridiculously vigilant and why grace is so important. Grace forgives all the sin we have in our lives, even when--especially when--we don't know it's there. It frees us up to be vigilant about what we can see through the power of faith in Christ.

So, I'm not going to be too on myself for missing a day. I'll just start over and keep writing and hope that I slowly get better at it and that my progress somehow helps out someone else.

The Renewing Mind: Be Ye Kind

Other people's bad behavior does not excuse your own bad behavior.

The other day I was forced to have a potentially volatile conversation with someone at work. Before the conversation, I made a conscious choice to be kind and gentle even if we were disagreeing. I believe I did fairly well, even though we did disagree a few times.

After the conversation, someone who overheard it accused me of being overly accommodating, although he used more colorful language to describe it. His argument was that the person who I had been talking to is difficult and doesn't deserve my politeness. Even if that is true, I am not being kind to anyone based on what they deserve, I am attempting based on the kind of person I want to be. How you treat others says more about you than it does about them.

I fail at kindness far to often to point fingers, I just believe that my actions are my own responsibility and I am not given a special dispensation just because the other person deserves my wrath. We all deserve wrath and Thank God we don't receive it. I agree that, unfortunately, that people try to take advantage of those who are kind, but that doesn't mean that kindness should stop. It just means that kindness and gentleness need to be combined with strength and boundaries.

So no, I will not fix your computer. But I love you.

The Renewing Mind: Things that need to change.

The way I show my love for God
The way I show my love for my family
The way I think about the work I do
The way I feel about my job
The way I eat
The way I take care of myself
The way I treat my friends
The way I treat my cat
The regularity with which I clean
The way I drive
The way I react to how others drive
The choices I make in regard to how I consume entertainment
the way I play games
They way I react to how you play games
The way i think about money
The way I feel about money
The way i spend money
the way I talk to my wife about money
the way I talk to my wife
the way I talk
how I think about my place in society
how much I contribute to the betterment of society
how much time I spend on relatively unimportant things
how often I cook
how often I put something off because I assume someone else will do it
how often I don't get involved because I don't think it is any of my business
how often I don't get involved because I don't care
how I treat people when I finally do get involved
how often I call my parents
how often I call my friends
how often I pray
how I pray
how I worship
how often I worship
how often I phone it in
how often I overreact
how often I take things out on you
how often I let you take things out on me
how I want what you have
how I want you to want what I have
how I feel about the things that I have
how I think about the things that I have
how ungrateful i am about the things I've been given
how ungracious I am about the things I have to give
how useless I sometimes feel
how prideful I am
how selfish I am
how we think about each other
how we think about where we live
how we think about what we do
how little thought we give to the state of our souls
how little thanks we give to God for His inexpressible gift.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Re-Purposing

I do this sort of 'Recycling' where I keep things I think I can use again. For Example, we recently pulled down a shed in our back yard that was shoddily made by (we assume) the previous owner. I threw a much of it away, as it was not really re-usable; but I kept any wood, screws, nails, siding, etc. that was still in fairly working order. I put them in jars or up in the garage so that I can use them for projects later.

I am pretty sure this practice drives my wife insane, at least with the big things, like wood. Mostly because I can't always explain well why I want to keep it and it takes up room. The reason i can't explain it is because I only have an idea of how to use this stuff again, not a specific plan. With screws, that's not a big deal, but when you are keeping 12x5 sheets of particle board and plywood, it is nice to have a real plan for it. I have ideas for a garden I want to create and the new shed next spring, and I look at those pieces of wood and can just see that they can be useful. Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes I end up throwing them out a month later once I've had a real chance to think about it.

I don't argue that I need to be a little more discerning about what I choose to keep, but I think overall it isn't a bad mindset. I feel like our culture has gone way too far into the one-use/disposable mindset. We talk about how recycling is great and we should all do it, but we only do it for things that are easily recyclable, things we can just throw into a special trash can and someone takes care of for us. I also am not endorsing hoarding. There are things that should be thrown away when they have served their purpose, as well as things that should never really be purchased at all. I just think that most of us could be a bit more conscious on how things can be practically re-purposed.

The Renewing Mind: That Restless Evil

It is so hard to keep my mouth shut. I struggle with it almost all the time.

When I am at work, I am gossiping or complaining about something far more often than I would like. The environment encourages it and if I am not constantly on guard I get caught up in it. It is especially bad if I am having a bad day.

When I am at home, it is a bit better as long as my wife and I are getting along. If we aren't, then it is a constant fight to keep the things that are going through my head from coming out of my mouth. Occasionally, I lose. I don't really mean them, I just get riled up and come up with the worst things.

The Bible isn't kidding when it says that the tongue is a restless evil. I realize that all these thoughts occur in my brain or mind, but as long as they stay up there then i have the chance to work through them and repent on my own. Once my tongue blurts them out, I enter into a whole new realm.

I believe that I have gotten better at controlling my tongue over the years, but I still struggle with it. I get frustrated that I think of these things at all. I cringe whenever something horrible moves through my head and presses against my teeth. I usually am able to keep it from escaping, but it is somewhat discouraging that my brain even creates them.

Luckily, sanctification is a progression. It is a slow process that doesn't end until we are all dead; the trick is learning to be thankful for even the tiniest bit of progress. Every little victory is Jesus working in our lives. They are all small proofs of the Spirit moving through us and methodically destroying the places sin had a hold on us. And that frees our tongues for far better endeavors, like worship.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Breaking the Rules

today I was waiting for train. Most of the people group up, waiting for the doors to open. It creates a bit of a back up, and does make it a bit hard for people on the platform to get by if they need to.

But then someone passes me on the right by walking on a different set of tracks.

This bothers me on several levels. First, there are signs all over that say not to step off the platform onto the tracks for any reason. It is potentially dangerous, although I admit that it would be hard to miss a train coming in to the station and get hit while doing this. Second, apparently this guy thinks that, because he is being inconvenienced, he gets to do whatever he wants to get himself in a better position. It doesn't matter that the rest of us are waiting and are actually abiding by the rules of the train station. This arouses in me the almost the same ire as if someone cut in line in front of me.

Now, I am not against rule breaking in general. Many of our technological marvels wouldn't exist if someone hadn't been willing to break some rules. However, that is not the same as someone who cuts in line. There are a few universal rules that we all have to suffer under and waiting in line is a fundamental one. We all have to do it, and it is rude to assume that you have some sort of right to get around it that doesn't apply to the rest of us.

Now, you might be thinking 'well, maybe we could ALL not stand in line.' I think that is obviously the way to chaos.

Creative people don't break the old rules, they come up with new rules that make the old ones obsolete.  Maybe think about it like this: Innovators don't cut in front of others in the current line, they create a new, better line.

Like the line for the new iPhone.

Sensitive Geek MAN: a million miles per hour

There are some that would call me careless.

I am not saying that there isn't some amount of carelessness in my life. I am sure that most people suffer from that occasionally. I try to limit the actual carelessness as much as I can, but the problem with carelessness is that you don't notice when you are doing it most of the time.

I feel like I may have an expanded issue with carelessness. I have ADHD. To clarify, I don't mean that I am like those poor over-medicated children who could control their issues with a diet changes, or some allergy meds, or that don't actually have an issues and are just kids. I have a chemical issue in my brain that actually produces hyperactivity and a certain amount of attention deficit. I say a certain amount because their are things that I could do to limit its effects, like watch my diet, exercise, deal with my allergies, that sort of thing. However, the big difference between someone like me and what I believe is the majority of people who are diagnosed with ADD is that even if I did those things, it won't complete erase the issue. Also, a lot of the ADD kids will grow out of it. I didn't and won't.

I should quickly say that I do not see this as an excuse for bad or irresponsible behavior. It isn't 'just the way I am.' I believe that I have an issue that has a physical component that I can't do anything about, but I can do something about how I deal with it. Everyone has something they have to deal with. Responsible people don't complain about it or use it as an excuse for bad behavior. They suck it up and do their best to deal with it, and they apologize for their failures.

Anyway, one of the big things that it seems to enhance is carelessness. I spill things on myself a lot, often even when I think I am being careful. I put things down convinced I will remember where they are, and of course I don't. Trying to find my glasses is a regular ritual at my house. I have regular habits that I have taught myself for the regular things, and that usually helps there, but anything new or that doesn't occur on a regular basis could get caught up in the whirlwind.

Again, I really try not to make excuses for forgetting these things, and I usually feel pretty bad when my forgetfulness affects other people negatively. I am not asking anyone to just sweep it under the rug. I promise, it isn't personal, it isn't that I don't care about YOU, i would forget this thing even if you weren't there. Again, not an excuse, I want to get better at it. I want to be able to explain it, but it is hard because I don't know how it is for others.

I suppose one way of explaining it is that my brain moves faster than my mind a lot of the time. Unless I have built in the habit of stopping to make myself think, the brain just kind of runs. All the time. If I am conscious, there really is never a break.

it's sort of like this:

Brain: Open door, set down keys, take off coat, set down bag, get something to eat.
Mind: WAIT! you didn't put your keys on the hook, go back.
Brain: ARG, I hate you, Fine, back to the hook, keys, EATING NOW.
Mind: OK, calm down. Hey, we just used the last paper towel, we should go change those.
Brain: can't talk, eating.
Mind: Seriously? you eat and talk all the time, why is now different? just go downstairs and get a roll of paper towels.
Brain: I want to change first. *starts moving toward the bedroom.
Mind: No, don't. We will forget! You'll get all caught up in something and I'll be too busy trying to keep up with you and it won't get done. DO IT NOW!
Brain: can't talk, changing.
Mind: Put on the dingy pants, we need to go mow the yard.
Brain: Right, bad pants. Lawn, get music.
Mind: Dude, put on a shirt.
Brain: Right, dingy shirt.
Mind: Hey, you figured that out on your own. Sweet. Is our MP3 player charged, Yes? good. Ok, put on shoes.
Brain: Shoes.
Mind: I feel like we are forgetting something.
Brain: Can't talk, shoes.

That's sort of what it's like.

The Renewing Mind/Sensitive Geek MAN: The way of the gun

I have a friend who said that he wanted the job of enforcing morality with a gun.

I like the concept, but it is obviously extreme.

Recently, I think I would like to be paid to give people perspective.

I'll use my own life as the initial example.
There are things about my life with which I am unhappy. I am sure everyone suffers from this. My job isn't what I would like it to be, I want to see my kids more, yadda yadda.
Far too often, I get focused on these things and can't let them go. I get all upset and up in arms.

Then I am given these moments of perspective:
I live in the United States, still one of the most prosperous, safe, free countries in the world.
I make a decent living, and my wife and I can pretty easily support our family.
Most everyone I know is pretty healthy.
I have good friends.
I go to a Godly, Bible-believing, fairly selfless church. I am not persecuted for my faith.

And then I realize I am a big whiner-baby.

I think that this sort of perspective is something that everyone needs. Maybe not with the same issues, but I think this is something that most people--especially in the U.S.--suffer from.

Now, this obviously wouldn't solve every problem, because there are people in the world who just don't care how good they have it. They want more. That's how sin works. It is never full; it is a giant gaping hole of need and it is always, always hungry.  You can not satisfy it, only kill it.

So maybe my friends gun morality has some merit. But, left to my own devices, I'd be just as likely to get shot as anyone else.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Dumb and Dumber

I am occasionally concerned that we are getting stupider as a species.

I don't mean that we are getting less capable of learning or knowing things, or even that we are getting less knowledgeable as a species. I think most people would agree that we have an immense amount of information available to us, more than any single person could ever know. Also, there are obviously a group of people that is very knowledgeable and good at applying that knowledge, since we have been having various technological advancements over the last 100 years.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the continuing educational process and the application of knowledge in a beneficial manner.

We may be gaining knowledge, but we are losing intelligence, we are losing wisdom, we are losing smarts.

Not only that, we are glorying in our stupidity. Just turn on TV. Watch any of a number of reality shows. Jersey Shore seems an excellent example. The popularity of that show is frightening. Shows like Big Brother teach us that it's OK to treat other people like crap to get what we want. That shows a lack of wisdom in how to deal with others both shrewdly and kindly.

I am not slamming TV, I think there are many shows that have a great ability to teach intelligence and wisdom. However, the popularity of those shows is very telling.

Mostly, I think our laziness and selfishness gets in the way. It's less taxing to be stupid and rude, and unfortunately there aren't always immediate consequences. And while there may be long term consequences, we may not put all the pieces together to realize what caused those consequences, because we are dumb and in denial.

Everyone does this. It is a failing of the super-educated as well as everyone else. Our current world-wide financial issues are a good example. Significant lack of wisdom there, as well as a huge dose of selfishness.

Historically, whenever this sort of thing started happening in a culture, that culture fell shortly thereafter. There have been multiple things written on it, and the Roman Empire is an excellent example. They got greedy, lazy, and stupid, then their whole society caved in.

So, don't revel in dumbness. Fight it, help others fight it. It can come to no lasting good.

Although it may get you a TV show.

The Renewing Mind: Boundaries Cont.

So the question remains: Is there an acceptable way for a Christian to have boundaries?

When dealing with other Christian's I think that there definitely is. As part of our Christian life, we are supposed to help each other in becoming more like Christ. When a fellow believer behaves in such a way that not only is sinful or un-Christlike, but also abuses other members of The Church, I think that having boundaries and enforcing them is not only smart but biblical. The catch is that the boundaries that we create and enforce have to be biblical and christ-like themselves.

While there are many passages on this, I think the Fruit of the Spirit is a good guideline to do a quick check against.
Does the way in which I am enforcing this boundary express God's love for this person?
Does it reflect the joy I have in the Lord?
Are you expressing the boundary in a way that should promote peace?
Are you being patient with the person while enforcing the boundary? Also, are you persevering not only in making sure your boundary is Godly, but with that person as they work out their own Christ-walk?
Are you expressing the boundary with kindness, not to hurt or belittle or even accuse?
Is this boundary good and is your enforcement of it good? Do both things coincide with biblical teaching and avoid sinfulness?
Are you relying on Christ for the situation and not on your own wisdom or powers? Do you have faith that He will work things out on your behalf?
Are you being careful to express yourself in a way that is not needlessly hurtful and that is clear? Are you doing your best to make sure that your expression does not get in the way of your message? If it is possible, are you making sure to help the person feel cared for even as you are enforcing a boundary against them?
Finally, are you controlling yourself? Are you letting anger or resentment cloud your judgement?


Really, these are good guidelines for dealing with anyone, Christian or otherwise. With non-Christians, I think there is an added responsibility to sacrifice our own comfort on their behalf. They do not share our view of creation, nor are they being made more Christ-like, so we have to ask the extra question of whether this boundary is leading them to Christ?

I think a big issue a lot of us have is seeing kindness and gentleness as weakness, as well as seeing boundary enforcement or saying 'no' to requests as unkind. The strongest people are those who can be strong while also considering others; and sometimes the kindest thing you can do is say 'no' to a request when you know that saying 'no' will ultimately help the other person more than 'yes.'

Now just to figure out how to do all that all the time.

The Renewing Mind: Borderline, think that I'm going to lose my mind.

The problem with setting boundaries is that you have to be willing to enforce them.

Things have been crazy around work lately. Basically, there is too much to do and not enough time to do it. The reasons for this aside, I have found a few times when I have had to enforce boundaries in the work place in regard to how much work I am expected to do. It has gone well and people seem to be understanding, but it is an uncomfortable position to be in.

How do I explain that there are more important things to me than my job? I'm not saying that my job doesn't have some importance, but not as much as God or Church or my family. When I am done at work, I want to be able to enjoy and participate in the things I think are really important. So I end up having to enforce boundaries.

And it isn't just at work. I have boundary enforcing issues all over the place. I am a recovering People Pleaser, and it feels very uncomfortable for me to say no, or to tell someone that I don't want to do something for them, or to tell someone when I've been hurt; even when my saying those things is warranted. There is a part of me that is convinced it is selfish. When I look at the Bible, I see verses expressing that we should go out of our way to be helpful, that we should let ourselves be inconvenienced in order to serve others. So I get uncomfortable when I say no, or take time for myself.


Part of the reason I struggle is because I know that a portion of my motivation to be better about my boundaries comes from arrogance and vindictiveness. I have this horrible idea that I am constantly the one who is having to be inconvenienced, or having to sacrifice, but that it isn't returned. There are many reasons that I believe cause this way of thinking, and many reasons this way of thinking bothers me; but the main 2 are that, first, it most likely isn't true. I am sure people in my life do things all the time and I am just too self-absorbed to notice. Second--and more importantly--there is no where in the biblical narrative that says "help people out until you get tired of it or until you feel you are being abused." Jesus got tired, Jesus was severely abused till he died! There are many other biblical incidents of Godly people being abused but still be required to serve. I have no excuse.


It's getting better. Maybe I just need a vacation.
I still feel there must be a good way to have some boundaries. Perhaps there will be more on that tomorrow.

Sensitive Geek MAN: When the Mind wins the Brain Game

Today I took a Blacksmithing class. Specifically, I took a class that taught how to make a small, propane-powered forge. As part of this process, we had to line the inside of our canister with a heat-resistant baffling that is very like fiberglass. If you have never worked with fiberglass, then you haven't experienced the itchiness that comes if you aren't careful how you handle it. You see, fiberglass-like materials have tiny shards inside them that get in your skin and make you itch. It is not pleasant.

However, as long as you are not shredding fiberglass, or burning it, or some other crazy thing that sort of aerosolizes it, you aren't really in any major danger if you are just mildly careful. I wore long sleeves, I wore safety goggles. Everything should have been fine.

However, for an hour or so after finishing working with the fiberglass, I had problems breathing. Well, not really problems, more like just a odd sensitivity.

Don't worry, I didn't inhale fiberglass. You see, these symptoms were psychosomatic. I didn't inhale fiberglass. I just worried that I might have and my brain produced a few symptoms to help my worry along.

This is not the first time this has happened to me. In fact, pretty much every time I do anything with volatile or potentially poisonous materials, I have some sort of mild reaction. I'm not kidding. If I have to use bleach to clean anything, I convince myself that I've managed to swallow some, and then my throat feels all weird.

However, all that is not even the part I think is interesting. The interesting part is that I know I'm doing it. I mean that, even while my brain is slightly worried that I may have swallowed bleach, my mind is saying "You didn't. You're fine. You do this every time. Calm down."

And yet I still have a tickle in my throat.

Now it has gotten better. The weirdness doesn't last as long as it used to. Some things that used to trigger it don't anymore. Also, I have never (at least to the best of my memory) let my worries about this sort of thing keep me from doing or trying anything. Because I know it is in my head. Sometimes I can just remind myself it isn't real. Sometimes I pray a little. Either way, things get better.

So I am fascinated by the power of the brain. Based on something I am worrying about, it can make me feel symptoms that I have no reason to be having.
However, I am more impressed with the power of the mind. Even though I am worried, I can tell myself that it isn't real and still make myself behave normally.

Now, I don't want you to think I obsess over all this. I don't. These 'worries' I have when dealing with chemicals and such are no real hindrance. I usually just ignore them and go about my day, because I know a few things.
First, the Lord is watching over me.
Second, all these silly little worries are in my brain.
Third, my mind, thanks to how we were created, has power over my brain. I've been given a conscious mind by my creator, and it has been empowered by my savior to help change me.

Sensitive Geek MAN: Words are weapons, sharper than knives

it seems that a large section of my brain power is used to determine and remember when to keep my stupid mouth shut.

There is a part of me that envies the people who don't think or care about what they say or how they say it. I see that and, while I am somewhat repulsed, I also am fascinated by the apparent freedom they feel to just speak their mind. I am often so exhausted just by constantly editing that the thought of being able to stop is very attractive.

Now, some of you who know me are saying, "you edit? I couldn't tell."  Let me assure you, YES I edit. A lot, constantly. So the next time I say something crazy, keep in mind that whatever I said was the edited version.

As freeing as being able to say anything that comes through my head or that I am feeling at that moment would seem, I can't do it.  First, whenever I see someone behave that way, I am instantly repulsed by their complete lack of regard for others. Make no mistake, people who do not consider their words and put the entire onus on others to translate and edit for them are selfish. While I agree that there is some responsibility on the part of the hearer to work at understanding and not overreacting, there is also a responsibility on the part of the speaker to be understood in a helpful way. People who refuse to consider their words are either arrogant or lazy, and people who claim to do so and still say needlessly harmful things are at best deluded or ignorant, and at worst are cruel.

Those of you who disagree, consider this: when one reads a book, there is an expectation that the writer will convey his meaning and intentions, as well as the story, in an understandable and engaging manner. If the author does not, it can result in an annoyed, perhaps even insulted, reader. The purpose of the writing is lost.

We are all the authors of everything that comes out of our mouth. The same rules apply.

Also, whenever I speak, I find that it makes whatever I am speaking about more real. When something is still in my head, I can try to argue against it, calm myself if need be. Eventually I may be able to alter or change it as needed. Also, it gives me a chance to actually test my thought veracity before acting.
Once I speak, my thoughts become more real. I find that I become more committed to them; I become more emotional and animated; my belief in what I am saying increases--whether it is actually true or not. Words are commitment. Words have power.

While i agree that in most cases, 'actions speak louder than words,' words speak pretty loudly. They are the first true indication of the character of the speaker.

Sensitive Geek MAN/The Renewing Mind: The Cake is a lie

I've pursued lots of things in the attempt to become Awesome.

There seems to be a thought in our culture that any, and perhaps even ALL, of us have the ability to become something phenomenal. Television, Movies, Radio, Books, and even the people around you tell you things that make you feel like you have it in you to be Superman.
The problem is that this is a lie.

No one can be Superman.  Not even Superman is really Superman. Whatever you accomplish in life, you will always be able to see some way that you could have theoretically have been better, greater than you are now. Everyone falls short of their supposed potential.

But falling short isn't the issue (it is The Issue, but not the focus of our current discussion.) The issue is that the World tells you that you can be a Superstar, so when you feel like you aren't the Superstar you were meant to be or thought you could be, you are devastated or feel like a failure.  You wonder where you've gone wrong.

I feel like this a lot. I had a lot of dreams and goals I wanted to accomplish. In a very strict sense, I have accomplished very few of them. Many--possibly most--have died a horribly painful death. When I see the death of these things, I feel like a failure. What have I done with my life? What do I have to show for it? Most things I have tried have not turned out.  I'm not famous, I'm not rich, I am not really successful in any way that the World promised me I could be.

But the issue is not that I'm a failure (again, it is The Issue, but that's for later), it's that I paid far too much attention to the lies of the world. The Cake is a LIE! There is no magic place in life where you get everything you want and are totally happy.  I would even go as far as to say that anyone who says they are perfectly happy with life is either a stinking liar or horribly deluded.

Here is a part of truth: You will never be completely happy in this life; you will never have everything you want; you will never feel totally fulfilled.

But you can be content. You just need to stop living trying to be the person the World told you that you could be, or even the person you want to be. Start figuring out who you should be.

You should be someone who loves God with everything you are.
You should be someone who loves others at least as much as you love yourself (hopefully more)
You should be someone who holds on to this world very loosely.
You should be someone who can accept that you aren't perfect, and while that isn't OK, it is reality. It is what everyone of us lives with every day.

The longer you spend denying it, the worse it gets.
So cut it out.

Sensitive Geek MAN: It would be a shame to kill you now.

This is a suggestion to anyone who relies on others to get their own jobs done: Be Kind.

I work in an IT support department, and the number 1 issue that makes working in IT frustrating are the users who call up and demand that I hook stars and bring them down for them to use at their whim.  And do so in a condescending or cruel fashion.

Sir or Madam, you do not seem to understand something very pivotal about our relationship: The very same abilities that allow me to help you with your issue also give me the knowledge to make your computer world a world of pain.

Now I would never do that, but since I could theoretically, you would think it would give you an incentive to at least be kind and polite. I know you are having issues, and I didn't cause them, so there is really no reason to treat me like I'm something you found on the bottom of your shoe, especially since i can erase your entire hard drive in about 30 seconds.

Again, I would never do that, but I am also not the only person with whom you should be polite.
Plumbers, electricians, contractors, police, firefighters, anyone on whom you rely for your daily comfort, protection, or just general ability to function should be treated with, at the very least, politeness.

Really, there is almost never a reason to ever treat anyone poorly.  A gentle answer turns away wrath, and it is possible to be kind and strong/assertive.