Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Baby Show: Important Part of a Healthy Breakfast

Players: Brad, Gus, Ruby
Location: Kitchen, Breakfast Time

After pouring cereal out for the kids, Brad begins making breakfast for The Wife and himself.
Gus mostly ignores his food and watches Brad turn the burner on under a tea kettle and pull out fixings for oatmeal.
Gus sees a bag of raisins come out of the cupboard: "DAT! Eye want sum ov DAT!" {See here, I do believe that the inclusion of that particular item will make my dining experience far more enjoyable. Bring it to me.}
Brad, who has been unable to speak for several days due to strained vocal chords, gives Gus one of the The Looks: Politeness
Gus sits back in his chair a bit as The Look rolls over him: “Peas?”
Brad smiles and nods, bringing over the bag of raisins and dropping a small handful into Gus’s cereal. Seeking to quell any possible eruptions, Brad does the same with Ruby’s cereal.
Brad turns to put the raisins away as Ruby eyes the lump of dried grapes now sitting atop her partially eaten cereal: “BUT DADDIE!” She glances back and forth between her food and her father. “I don’t want them.”
Brad reaches up and puts away the raisins, giving Ruby a quizzical glance over his shoulder.
Ruby: “I don’t want these raisins, they are making my food yucky.”
Brad turns, makes a sympathetic face, puts a loving hand on Ruby’s head. He points with the other and makes a scooping motion toward his mouth.
Ruby starts to flounce around in the partially kneeling position she regularly sits in: “NO, I don’t want them, they are yucky.”
Brad grabs the tablet computer and opens up an app. After a few moments of typing, Steven Hawking says: “But RooBee, You are ee-ting Ray Sin Bran.”
Ruby: “But these are different raisins, I don’t want them.”
Seeing that this is about to become A Thing, Brad randomly pulls  raisins out of Ruby’s cereal bowl. Once he has ten or so, he makes the ‘There you go’ gesture.
Ruby: “The yucky raisins are out now?”
Brad rolls his eyes, and simultaneously nods and shakes his head.
Ruby picks up her spoon and begins to eat; Brad pops the offensive raisins into his mouth.
As Brad turns back to the counter, Gus points at his bowl: “Eye don’t want them inn deh.”
Brad spins around dumbfounded and throws his hands up. He gives Ruby a ‘This is your fault’ look, which she doesn’t notice as she shovels raisin bran into her face. Brad picks out yet more random raisins, and is about to eat them when Gus points at the small pile of raisins in Brad’s hand.
Gus: “Eye want dem.” {Oh, you misunderstand. I want those raisins, just not in my cereal. THOSE are my special raisins. Hand them over.}
Brad sighs and drops them on the place mat. Gus reaches for them and shoves them all in his mouth simultaneously.
Brad gives Gus The Look:Politeness
Gus, mouthful of raisins: “Vnk Mnn.”

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