The Baby Show: It's Me Again

Players: Brad, Gus, (Hope), Ruby, Various Bystanders
Location: At the Park

Ruby is running pell mell around the playground with today's baby-friend. Gus is wandering around by the fence pointing at cars in the parking lot. Hope is on Brad's back.
Brad:"RUBY, you have 10 minutes."
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad: "Because we need to go home and feed Hope and get your lunch ready.'
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad: "Because eating is essential to energy creation and life."
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad: "Your body takes food and breaks it down into nutrients that your stomach and intestines then absorb."
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad: "So your circulatory system can then transport those nutrients around your body to use for energy and to rebuild various important internal systems.
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad sighs: "Because God made it that way."
Ruby: "Why?"
Brad: "You'll have to ask HIM. You now have 5 minutes." 
Brad turns to Gus: "Gus, you okay?"
Gus: "CAW." {There is such a variety of cars in the area. I'm fascinated by the array. Come look with me.}
Brad: "Okay, I'll be right there." 
Brad walks 20 feet to get the stroller, then pushes it over to Gus, who has knelt down to play with something in the grass.
Brad: "Gus, what ya doing?"
Gus: {I am examining this strange grass.} Holds up a mushroom.
Brad takes it quickly out of Gus's hands and picks him up: "Did you eat any?"
Gus blank stare: {I am afraid I don't recall. Isn't it more exciting NOT to know?}
Brad sighs, picks a few mushrooms and puts them in the diaper bag. He deposits Gus in the stroller. 
Brad, hits a number on the speed dial of his phone while yelling across the parking lot: "Ruby, we're leaving. Say bye to your friends."
Ruby: "Bye bye, little boy."
Brad hits the number to choose English: "Ruby, you play with him every day. What's his name?"
Ruby thinks for a second: "Leo."
Brad pushes the button to indicate that he is not a medical professional: "Then say bye to him with his name."
Ruby: "Bye, Leo." 
Ruby runs over to Brad and they start walking home as a Technician picks up on the other line.
Technician: "Thank you for calling poison control, how may I help you."
Brad: "Hi Jessica, it's Brad Archer."

Jessica: "Oh, Hey Brad - Ruby or Gus?"

(Original Post: 6/3/2013)

A Day in the Life: MultiTasking

between baking bread and changing oil.
Hand-washing is key

The Baby Show: A Classic Blunder

Players: Brad, Gus
Location: Gus’s Room, The Kitchen

Since Gus has graduated to his "big boy" bed, he refuses to stay in bed. He has been milling around in his room, in the dark, for 90 minutes.
Suddenly, there is a pounding from inside his room.
Gus: "DINK!" {I require a beverage, all this not-sleeping has left me parched!}
Brad ignores the request
Gus: "DINK, DINK" {I will pound on this door and scream until I wake up the Sister-Girl unless you slake my titanic thirst!!}
Brad goes to Gus's door: "Just go to sleep. You won't even notice you're thirsty if you are ASLEEP."
Gus is quiet for a moment, then: {You do not understand, Father Parent: should you deliver to me a refreshing beverage of some variety, my pleasantly full belly will easily render me comatose.}
Brad opens the door. Gus is standing there, twisting his index finger in his mouth- the Gus-hand speak version of Drink.
Brad: "So I get you a drink, and you'll go to sleep."
Gus looks on plaintively {I suggest Milk; it has great powers of soothing and restfulness.}
Brad picks up Gus and takes him to the refrigerator. When proffered, Gus greedily grabs for a Sippy of milk and drinks from it furiously.
Gus: {YOU FOOL! You've given me COLD milk. Only WARM milk has the powers to soothe the savage toddler. You have only reinvigorated me to continue in my state of UN-sleep!}
Brad deposits Gus back in his bed.
In his room, Gus immediately gets out of bed and bellows: {OH THE FOLLY YOU HAVE WROUGHT! Now I am inconsolable and mighty. I shall rage until the dying of the earth. Nothing will stand before my awesome grumpiness and whine-etude. I shall...Shall...}
There is a thump from the room as Gus falls to the floor, asleep

(Original Post: 5/31/2013)

Child Cheat Codes: Walking in the Rain

(Original Post: 5/30/2013)

The Baby Show: Feed Me!

Players: Brad, Hope, Gus, Ruby

Location: The Kitchen

Lunchtime: Hope is in her high chair, blueberry-flavored rice puffs are on her tray to distract her. Gus and Ruby are wandering between the kitchen and the living room, sensing that food is coming but not yet committed enough to give up on trying to cover all the carpet in the living room with toys. “Larson” songs are playing in the background

Brad puts a bib on Hope

Hope: {Hold up, I know what this means!} 
Hopes little legs start pounding the life out of the bottom of the highchair. She begins flapping her unbending baby arms in a motion that can only be described as “Frankenstein’s Monster trys to fly”

Brad goes to get Hope’s food – mixed Vegetables – and hides it behind his back until the last minute.

Hope: {I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE! GIMME GIMME GIMME.} 
Brad is not fast enough in taking the plastic top off it.

Hope: {DUDE, Why isn't that spoon SLOPPY with goodness and in my MOUTH HOLE?}

Hope’s screeches bring Gus into the room.
Gus: {What seems to be the trouble?}
Brad, stirring the Veggie pudding a little: “Just getting ready to feed Hope.”
Hope: {You are not SERIOUSLY stirring that instead of shoveling into my face!?}
Brad begins feeding Hope, who is still slamming her legs against the seat. 
Hope: {FASTER! DOUBLE FIST IT, IF YOU GOTTA.}
After a few minutes, Hope calms down and eats at a more normal pace. Gus climbs into a chair with a book. Ruby comes in a moment later and sits in her chair. Hope is completely distracted and stops eating.
Brad holds the food-laden spoon in front of Hope’s eyeball: “Hey, there is still food here.”
Hope: {Oh, yeah. Here yah go.} 
Hope opens her mouth without stopping staring at Gus. 
With food in her mouth, Hope to Gus: {Whatta doobin?}
Gus tears a page out of the book: {I’m reading this delightful book, but then destroying it so that I am ever the only recipient of its knowledge}
Brad cajoles Hope into taking another bite.
Ruby: “Daddy, can I have some milk?”
Brad: “Sure, sweetie.” 
Brad gets up and moves to the Fridge. It takes Hope a moment to realize that he’s not in front of her anymore.
Hope: {HEY}. Brad looks over and she continues: {Did I say you could go?}
Brad: “You are all distracted, you can wait 1 minute.”
Hope: {Listen, son. This is MY time. You sit your butt back down and get that goop in my belly.}

(Original Post: 5/30/2013)

Child Cheat Codes: Children Desiring God Music

We were introduced to The Children Desiring God CD's by good friends of ours, The Larsons - My kids call all these songs (and now by association, any Bible Verse song) Larson songs.

Children Desiring God started out as a memorization program for kids at Bethlehem Baptist Church - John Piper's Home Church - the Larson's also currently attend.
Bethlehem Baptist Church really focuses on Scripture Memory and has a lot of curriculum to help both children and adults memorize scripture.

I highly recommend these songs. Some of the music underneath the scripture will initially make you roll your eyes, but watching my 3 year old be able to sing whole passages of scripture got me over that really quick - and much of the music is pretty decent and catchy. My kids like them so much, they ask me to play the music CONSTANTLY. It is more requested than any Disney or other kids music.

It has also helped me memorize a ton of scripture as well.

There current offerings are here.
Set 1 is random verses, while Set 5 is the Sermon on the Mount.

The also have there original releases (they call them Legacy verses) here.

The songs are also available on iTunes, and the CD through Amazon.

Also, Seeds Family Worship CD's

(Original Post: 5/29/2013)

The Baby Show: Sibling Rivalry

The Players: Brad, Gus, Ruby

Location: The Living Room.

Brad is sitting on the couch. The BabyShow is free-playing (ie Brad’s too lazy to have a plan at the moment.)
Gus toddles up to Brad: “BOOK.” {I find the cover of this book intriguing. Please read to me the contents} Gus hands Brad a book about baby animals.
Brad: “Okay, come on up.” 
Brad pulls Gus onto the couch beside him.
Gus: {OH, I’m sorry. You thought I wanted to sit next to you like some sort of stranger? I find that UNACCEPTABLE.} 
Gus pushes the book out of the way and plops himself down directly in Brad’s lap.
Brad: “Ruby, you want to read this book with us?”
Ruby: “No, I’m making tea for my friends for when they come over and we will go to the park and have tea and fix it with our Mousekehtools.”
Brad: “Okay.” 
Brad opens the book and begins reading: “’There are many types of Animals on the farm, and each farm is different; but if you visit a farm, these are some of the animals that you may see.’ Look, Gussie, that’s a Pig” 
Brad points at the pig: “Can you say Pig?” 
Gus: “PIG.” {I have accomplished your task, move along}
Ruby: “WAIT, I want to read this with you.” 
Ruby drops her teacup unceremoniously on the floor and sits on the couch next to Brad.
Gus looks at Ruby: {Welcome. I’d like you to note that I am sitting in a place of honor, while you are resigned to sit in the seat of strangers and vagabonds.}
Ruby: {Oh Yeah?} “Daddy, put your arm around me.” 
Brad puts his arm around Ruby. 
Ruby: “I like your arm around me cuz it’s warm and I like you.”
Brad: “Thank you, Sweetie, I like you too.”
Ruby to Gus: {NEENER NEENER NEENER}
Brad Continues to read: “’Sheep are a common sight on many farms. A baby sheep is called a Lamb.’ Gus, can you say lamb?”
Gus: “LAMMuh” to Ruby: {I’m BRILLIANT}
Ruby: “Lamb” to Gus: {but you talk like a BABEE}
Brad reads: “’Cows are one of the most common animals found at a farm. They come in many varieties.’ Gus, can you say Cow?’
Ruby, quickly. “Cow!” 
Gus, a little behind “CAHOWUH.” To Ruby: {Are you challenging me, madam?}
Ruby: {Oh, that would be TOTES unfair, you’re just a LITTLE BABY.}
Gus: {I SHALL CRUSH YOU!}
For the next few pages, Ruby soundly trounces Gus whenever Brad asks Gus to say the word. But suddenly we turn to the page with the Ostriches.
Brad: “Gus, can you say Ostrich”
Gus: “AWSTWIK.” {I AM VICTORIOUS! I VANQUISH ALL CHALLENGERS! TAKE THAT!}
Ruby is not paying attention; she is instead looking at the background of the Ostrich picture at the very fuzzy outline of a barn. 
Ruby: “Daddy, is that a train?”
Gus perks up: “Twain?” {There are trains in this book? Show me these trains.}
Brad: “No guys, that’s not a train. It’s the barn. There aren’t any trains in this book.” 
Brad turns the page.
Gus immediately points at the page “TWAIN!?” {Is that a train?}
Brad: “No, Gussie, that’s not a train. This page is about Horses. Can you say Horse?”
Ruby: “HORSE”
Gus: “TWAIN!!” {YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAKE THIS BOOK BETTER WOULD BE TRAINS!}
Brad reads the page about horses, and turns to the next page, which is about Goats.
Gus points directly at an all-white goat with those crazy goat eyes: “TWAIN TWAIN TWAIN!” 
Brad: “Gus, that’s a GOAT. Can you say Goat?”
Gus starts slapping the page with his stubby toddler paws: {DON’T YOU SEE? The Animals are secondary, I see now that this book was always about the Hidden Trains.} To Ruby: {You tricked me. This whole time I thought we were having a battle of the wits, and instead you were just leading me astray so you could have all the trains to yourself. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU}
Ruby: {You may be just a skosh cray-cray.}
Brad turns the page and begins reading, but Gus is having none of it. Several pages go by, with Ruby saying words that are now very easy for her, and Gus having vivid hallucinations about trains hiding behind ducks, geese, llamas, and chickens.
Finally we finish the last page and Brad closes the book.
Gus: “GEHN!” {We must return to the beginning. Obviously all the trains were hiding on the first few pages. START AGAIN!}
Ruby: “I wanna play Go-Fish”
Gus: {NO, I DENY YOU YOUR SATISFACTION. THERE WILL BE NO PEACE UNTIL I HAVE MY TRAINS!} 
Brad: “We could just read a book about trains.”
Gus grabs the animal book and shakes it {NO, that isn’t the same. I must find the trains in this book!}
Ruby: {rrriiiiggghhhttt. I’m outie} jumps off the couch and goes back to her tea set.
Gus throws his little baby body down on the couch: {All I want is baby animals and trains; The perfect book; Why does no one understand?} “Twains…”

(Original Post: 5/28/2013)